Another new beginning, new flat, new city, Newport Beach.
Feel the fresh sea breeze on my cheeks;

down here, the bird’s chorus takes a new melody;
yet, it seems Daly City’s clouds tails me;
still struggling to fathom this new reality;
where Dad is gone, now resides a mere memory;

seeking your presence in the present, sanity slips through my fingers tips;
I keep revisiting the “what if’s;”
grief uncovers rage that lives underneath the surface;

suddenly, feeling understood becomes rare;
suddenly, you become a worn-out refrain.
Do they tire of my tears?

But you’re in a new town, embrace it;
you possess a beautiful life, live it;
I know I should go explore, enjoy the SoCal weather;
but inside I sit, in your old blue striped sweater;

why does nothing make sense?
Feels strange using my dad in past tense;
striving to emulate him, yearning to experience life through him, drowning in desolation;

yet here I am, in this latest enclave;
another new;
but without you;

feels like an eternity spent in May’s grasp;
the last month when you exhaled your final breath;

as time and distance widen the gap between us;
as we step into June, the first of many months without your existence;

in honor of you, I strive to hold hope tight;
but, Dad, the end of your story, I wish I could rewrite.

SSxx